


It's you, isn't it?

by ButMakeItGay



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Clexa Halloween Week, Clexmas, Clexmas2019, Clextober, F/F, Friends to Lovers, I'm a filthy liar, Magic, Never trust me about chapter counts, Now featuring Christmas stuff, gay kisses, in that regard, witchy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 09:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21097349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButMakeItGay/pseuds/ButMakeItGay
Summary: Clarke Griffin had always been more than a bit strange.At least, that’s what the residents of her sleepy Massachusetts town she grew up in always said.Clarke herself never really felt any different than anyone else as a child. She liked playing and pretending and dancing and shouting, she liked toys and arts and crafts time and hanging upside down on the monkey bars. But somewhere between kindergarten and fifth grade, almost every single one of her peers decided there was something… creepy about her.





	1. It's you, isn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> So it turns out one-shots are hard. Noted.
> 
> Set in the 90's, because reasons. Enjoy :)

Clarke Griffin had always been more than a bit strange.

At least, that’s what the residents of her sleepy Massachusetts town she grew up in always said.

Clarke herself never really felt any different than anyone else as a child. She liked playing and pretending and dancing and shouting, she liked toys and arts and crafts time and hanging upside down on the monkey bars. But somewhere between kindergarten and fifth grade, almost every single one of her peers decided there was something… creepy about her.

There was no one specific event alone to be blamed for the change of feelings toward her in that small town, rather a collection of odd things, tiny and not so tiny mysterious occurrences that always seemed to center around the girl in question.

~*~*~*~

Such as the day her first grade teacher yelled at her for accidentally spilling yellow paint during art time.

~*~*~*~

Clarke hadn’t meant to do it, simply so engrossed in her creative process of painting a perfectly lovely (if not a little wonky shaped) brightly colored sun as a present for her mom, that she hadn’t noticed her elbow inching closer and closer to the small cup of paint sat precariously close to the edge. But after the deed had been done, with the teacher standing over her speaking loudly of carelessness and ruined carpets, a humiliated Clarke cried quietly that she was sorry for the mess she had made.

As she felt the emotions build and tumble in her tiny chest, her heart pounding with shame and anger, she lowered her head in guilt… only to snap back up at the sound of several loud gasps.

Horrifyingly frozen in front of her, now covered in brilliant purple paint, stood her exceedingly enraged teacher. Shocked at the sight before, Clarke could only stare, wondering what had happened in the short time she had been looking away.

“You threw that at me,” the teacher spluttered, confused and red in the face.

“No she didn’,” Clarke’s desk mate, Lexa, angrily came to her defense through her slight speech impediment. “She didn’ eben mooff.” She looked over, taking in the fiery defiance on the young girl's face, brilliant eyes burning with indignant rage on Clarke’s behalf.

“Be quiet, Ms. Woods,” the teacher commanded.

“But I didn’t see her move either, Mrs. Randell, it just- it just flew-”

“You be quiet too, Mr. Jaha,” the teacher hushed loudly, moving to gather a few tissues from her desk to uselessly blot at the mess on her blouse. “Ms. Griffin, go to the office. Now.”

“But, dat’s not fair!”

“I said, be quiet, Ms. Woods,” she snapped again.

“It’s okay, Lexa,” Clarke whispered as she pushed her tiny chair back in, “I don’t want you to get in trouble too,” smiling weakly as she attempted to wipe away the tracks of tears on her cheeks before turning to slink out of the room as she had been told.

~*~*~*~

Or the next year when, what people referred to as the ‘maze fiasco’, happened. Admittedly, that particular one had even scared Clarke herself.

~*~*~*~

Having gotten separated from her parents in the long and winding path of tall barrels of hay, getting cold and more than a little afraid, Clarke began dashing around corners, running in what felt like endless circles and deadends as the sky continued to darken by the minute.

Finally, feeling her panic reach a fever pitch, Clarke stopped abruptly, tears streaming down her face and no idea what else to do, she lifted her head, and screamed.

She screamed for help, for her dad, for her mom... for anyone.

Within moments a large gust of wind swept across her face, swirling and kicking up dirt and loose buts of hay all around her, the tiny shrapnel whipping at her skin like knives. Clarke dropped to the ground, pulling her knees tightly to her chest as she buried her face in tiny hands to shield herself from the airborne projectiles. It only lasted a few moments, probably no more than a handful of seconds that simply felt suspended and stretched, but when the wind suddenly died down and she lifted her head, Clarke was startled to see her surroundings.

Every single one of the stacked barrels of hay around her was tipped over.

But not only those; rows upon rows of the temporary maze walls where on their sides, disheveled and cast over creating a domino effect… with Clarke huddled right at the center.

Rising up on trembling legs, she stood, looking around to see a few people here and there climbing their way out of the debris. No one seemed hurt, more shocked and shaken than anything, but all collectively turning to look where the source of the mini avalanche had started.

“Clarke!” she heard a tiny voice off to her right call out. Looking over, she saw her deskmate and new friend climbing awkwardly and unsteadily through the overturned barrels toward her, the girl's small gangly limbs struggling against the oversized obstacles.

“Clarke, thank god,” she heard from her left, turning and dissolving into the tight hug from her father. “We were looking all over for you... This is why you don’t run off. Are you hurt, sweetie?” he asked, moving to hold her at arm’s length to inspect her for injuries.

“I’m okay, daddy. Nothing fell on me,” she sniffled softly.

“Clarke, are you okay?” Lexa’s voice sounded from behind, panting slightly from traversing the mountainous barrels. “I heard you yell and then, and then everything fell.”

“Yeah I’m okay,” Clarke nodded, still clinging to her father’s hand but offering the girl a watery, embarrassed smile.

“Who’s this, Clarke?” her mom asked gently.

“That’s Lexa, she sits next to me at school.”

“Hi,” Lexa muttered softly, blushing slightly under the gaze of the two grownups.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Lexa. Are you alright too? Did anything fall on you?” Clarke’s mother asked, squatting down to look the girl over for injuries.

“No, I’m good,” Lexa assured quickly.

“Okay, good. Thank you for trying to make sure Clarke was safe, that was very nice of you.” Lexa just swallowed slightly, the tips of her small ears burning brighter than before. “Why don’t we all go try and find your parents.”

“I’m here with my sister. She’s waiting for me at the front. She hates mazes,” Lexa sighed sadly, fiddling with the sleeve of her Power-Rangers sweater.

“Well in that case, kiddo,” Clarke’s dad grinned brightly, “you just stick with us and we’ll all get out of here so we can find her, sound good?” He waited for the little girl to nod before continuing, “Okay, good. So, you guys buddy up,” he said, smiling broadly as Clarke immediately grabbed ahold of Lexa’s hand, just like she had been taught earlier in the year for a field trip. “Awesome, let’s go.”

Clarke felt much better, her tiny heart whirring at the feeling of Lexa squeezing her hand softly as she led them to follow closely behind Clarke’s parents.

~*~*~*~

But the thing that really solidified her place as an oddity in the community’s mind happened during the first month of her fourth grade year.

~*~*~*~

Still fresh off a summer spent playing and laughing with her bestest best friend in the whole world, Clarke tried really hard to stay focused during the cripplingly boring social studies video the class had been assigned to watch.

But the second the teacher stepped out for a few moments… well, kids are kids.

“This is worse than Ms. Snottrail’s class last year,” she heard whispered from her left.

Giggling into her hand, Clarke turned to Lexa as she shook her head. “Don’t call her that, it’s mean.”

“Anya said that’s what they always called her when she went here,” Lexa shrugged, tapping the eraser of her pencil against the notebook she was supposed to be writing on instead of talking, green eyes twinkling mischievously back at her.

“Guys, I’m trying to pay attention,” they heard behind them, both turning to look at their friend.

“Come on, Wells. This stuff is so boring,” Clarke rolled her eyes at the designated ‘stickler for the rules’ member of their small friend group.

“I know, but you know he’s gonna give us a packet on it. You’ll thank me when I let you use my notes later,” he said pointedly.

“Yeah, Clarke. Don’t ruin it so the rest of us can’t cheat off your boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” Clarke scowled immediately at the boy sat behind Lexa who took any and every opportunity to tease her.

“Ooh, I’m gonna tell.”

“Shut up, Murphy,” she repeated through gritted teeth, her voice raising slightly in irritation. “No one was talking to you.” By now, every student had turned to watch the heated debate between the two classmates.

“You shut up.”

“Good one.”

“It’s not my fault that your little boyfriend and four eyes are the only people who will talk to you. Some of us actually have friends outside of this dumb class, weirdo.” The few snickers and antagonizing ‘ooo’s’ went unnoticed by the bickering students.

Lexa seethed as she whipped around, aiming a steely glare at the annoying boy. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

“She’s a freak, and everyone knows it,” he sneered back as the color drained from Clarke’s face her bottom lip beginning to tremble despite her silent command for to hold strong.

As she opened her mouth to defend herself, and before anyone could register it’s movement, the open window right beside him shattered as it slammed shut with deafening force. Glass shards rained down on the class, the window seeming to burst out into the small room with the force of its impact had all the kids throwing their arms over their heads in an attempt to cover themselves.

When everything settled, small heads peeked out to look around, trying to comprehend what had just happened. The door to the room flew open, the teacher halting in his tracks at the view of the broken window. “What happened?” he demanded to the room at large.

“We don’t know.”

“It fell.”

“It exploded!”

“Clarke did it,” Murphy said loudly, raising his voice to be heard over the cacophony of other students.

“No she didn’t,” Lexa declared just as loudly. “She can’t even reach it from there.”

“What happened?” the teacher asked again.

“I was talking and Clarke got all mad and then the window broke.”

The room was quiet for a long moment, none of the other students seeming to be able to argue that fact. Clarke stared horrifiedly at the shattered glass around her, seeing bits and pieces littered across the desks and floor and a specific head of wavy brown locks that sent her stomach spiralling.

“Alright… everybody just, carefully get up and come this way. Be careful not to touch anything. Let’s go outside and see if we can get everyone cleaned off… Not you, Clarke,” he instructed quickly, seeing her start to get up from her desk as well. “Stay there. I’ll, I’ll come back for you... Just, don’t touch anything... Come on, kids. Let’s go.”

Looking up and seeing her friend boiling with rage, her mouth twisting as though she were getting ready to argue with the teacher, Clarke shook her head slowly at Lexa, stretching an encouraging smile across her face. “I’m okay, Lex,” she whispered, “I don’t want you to get cut.”

“But, Clarke-”

“I’ll see you after school, I promise.” Lexa gave her a long look of sadness before nodding, finally moving to join the others filtering out of the room. After watching her best friend disappear around the corner with Murphy shuffling shortly behind her, he stopped and turned to direct a glare at her from the threshold of the room.

“Even the teacher knows you’re a freak. Stay away from me,” he spat before stomping loudly out of the room.

~*~*~*~

After that, her reputation was pretty much sealed.

There were more things, small bizarre events here and there, but that had been the definitive turning point for her life around town in her opinion.

The story had traveled as fast as it took for Murphy's mom, the head of the PTA and local bake sale tyrant, to relay her son’s story via her small yet power-wielding Nokia phone, texting or calling every other parent on the parent tree. His version lining up with the majority of other students present for the event, coupled with the various other odd debacles that surrounded the young Griffin girl, led to years of whispered conversations and dark sideways looks as she passed people on the street.

It just became her norm; kids refusing to play with her at recess or be her buddy on field trips, parents always managing to “forget” to invite her to birthday parties, the list went on and on.

But still, despite it all, Clarke felt more or less content with her life. She had her two best friends by her side, always ready and willing to step up for her, defend her from the meanest of their juvenile peers, and occupy the role of partners in crime around school (metaphorically speaking, Clarke always attempting to keep her head down and nose out of trouble as much as possible).

Wells, and to a much greater degree, Lexa, were her rock throughout middle school and high school, reminding her day after day that the people around them were narrow minded idiots. That she had never actually done anything wrong, that the only thing truly weird was a small town’s population being so willing to ostracize a young girl over a, granted… curious series of events, and that while it was true that sometimes strange stuff did happen around Clarke, she was one of their favorite people.

It never seemed to matter to either of them that they both were relatively popular themselves; Lexa having grown out of her awkward gangly limbed phase and into the graceful, quick witted president of the student council while Wells spent his time bulking up, fulfilling his goal of lettering in track the previous year. Even into their senior year of high school, the three had stayed thick as thieves, both her friends letting the entire student body know in no uncertain terms that if they enjoyed their noses intact and their asses boot-free, they should kindly keep any negative thoughts on Clarke to themselves.

So Clarke was happy, more or less... At least the majority of the time...

~*~*~*~

“Seriously. Forget them. They don’t deserve you.”

“Yeah, but I need them, Lexa. You know I’m trying to save up for a car.”

It had happened again, because of course it had, Clarke by now being more than used to this feeling as she dejectedly kicked a stray leaf out of her path.

Lexa had been visiting, using the excuse of needing help selecting the perfect pumpkins for the student government’s fall festival decoration project to lure Clarke away from her spot at the deserted register.

Upon noticing she wasn’t diligently (uselessly) standing at the ready by her till, Clarke’s manager had come looking for her, immediately yelling about her irresponsibility and negligence on the job. Even as she had quietly explained that she had only stepped away to “help” a “customer” (and definitely not secretly appreciate how well the ripped jeans and oversized sweater complimented her extremely pretty friend’s figure), his ire only increased, venting that he should have known better than to hire… her.

And then, predictably, because why not, in the middle of his diatribe and right as she felt as though she would burst into angry tears, the entire pile of pumpkins shifted and collapsed, wayward gourds crashing down and scattering across the small parking lot, knocking the feet out from underneath the man in it’s rumbling cascade.

After laying there for a moment, staring at Clarke with fright stricken eyes, he let her know, as resolutely as possible through trembling lips, that her services would no longer be required. Lexa had then informed him, in a far less professional manner, that she would be ordering the school’s pumpkins from the next town over before grabbing Clarke’s hand as she stormed away, dragging the shell-shocked girl behind her.

Now, walking home, staring at the store’s logo printed on the apron she still wore and worrying about the future, Clarke tried not to appear as worthless as she felt while wondering why these things always happened to her.

“I told you, I’ve almost got enough saved up for myself. When I get my car, we’re set. Anywhere we want to go. Anywhere you want to go,” Lexa assured her, breaking her out of her thoughts as they walked home through the crisp evening air.

“You’re not gonna want to do that, Lex. We’re going to be in college next year an-”

“Yeah, the same college,” Lexa cut in. “Free chauffeur at your beck and call, pretty sweet deal if you ask me,” she smiled, exaggeratedly wagging her eyebrows in a transparent attempt to make her laugh.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do though, because I’m going where you’re going. We applied all the same places so, wherever you go, I’ll be there too.”

“And I told you I’m not letting that happen,” she said, shaking her head softly. “I want you to go to the best school you can get into.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” she said, hurrying in front of Clarke to walk backwards down the sidewalk as she continued with a smirk, “But that’s not really up to you.”

“You’re my best friend, I want you to do what's right for you. You deserve… everything. You should worry about giving yourself the best chance. Not about me.”

She stopped short, barely avoiding running directly into her friend as Lexa halted at the words. “You’re my best friend too, Clarke,” she said with gentle conviction, gazing deeply into her eyes as she spoke, getting that unreadable look on her face that always succeeded in confusing Clarke beyond measure, sending her heart into overdrive as her legs turned to jelly. “Sometimes I think you forget that.”

“I, I don’t… I just, I know how much you can do. You can do and be anything, you’re so smart. I don’t want to hold you back just because... I’m me,” she finished softly, eyes cast down as she shifted slightly on her feet.

She felt long smooth fingers trace along her jaw, an insistent thumb pushing lightly under her chin in an effort to get her to look up. The depth of sadness that met her as she looked into her friend’s eyes broke Clarke’s already fragile heart. She watched dark green sweep gently over her features, gliding from the cleft of her chin to the apples of her cheeks, sliding over the blonde of her brow and down, settling on her own once again.

So focused on each other, neither girls noticed the streetlight above them flickering lightly in the evening darkness.

“‘Hold me back’?, she said, the tone of disgust echoing quietly in the still night air. “Don’t say things like that... I love who you are,” Lexa whispered. “Maybe I could go anywhere and maybe I could do anything, but so can you,” she exhaled shakily, leaning her forehead against her own. “And even if you couldn’t, even if you weren’t as amazing as you are… I can’t do any of it if you aren’t there with me… I don’t want to,” she stressed.

“But, Lex, all I’m going to do is make things terrible. Come on, be real. I can’t even hold down a shitty grocery job.”

Lexa clicked her tongue, pulling back to look mournfully into regretful orbs of blue. “I’m so tired of doing this… You really don’t get it, do you?” she whispered.

“Get what?”

“... After all these years, after everything, you still don’t get it.”

“I just don’t want you to be stuck with m-”

Her words were cut off by soft lips, moving achingly slow, their full, rich, plumpness stealing the breath from her lungs. She stood there frozen, not able to get her body to respond. Her hands moving awkwardly at her sides, not sure what to do, having been completely blindsided by her first kiss.

Her first kiss, being pressed to her lips by her best friend.

Her best friend who also just so happened to be Lexa, the girl she was almost positive she had been at least a little bit in love with since grade school.

Given how much of a weirdo everyone regarded her as, Clarke had never dated anyone in her life. Not that she hadn’t liked anyone before, obviously her hormones raged just as hard as any other teenager. But with the majority of town too afraid to approach her, inexperienced would have been putting it mildly.

Then again, Lexa was in the same boat. At least to Clarke’s knowledge she was. They had talked about people they found attractive, each quietly finding common ground on their abundant appreciation for the female form around seventh grade, but going so far as to actually act on those thoughts about their classmates? Neither had shown much interest.

So Clarke was pretty damn clueless as to what was happening in that moment.

Apparently noticing how uncomfortable the recipient of her embrace seemed to be, registering Clarke’s stalk-still body that stood motionless and stiff, Lexa wrenched away completely, one hand pushing through the top of her long wavy hair as the other nervously slid into the back pocket of her jeans. “I’m sorry. That, that was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t thinking,” she said, shaking her head as her eyes squeezed shut before snapping open, looking everywhere except the girl standing in front of her.

“Lexa, wait.”

“I um, I should go actually. My mom’s probably spazzing, I was only supposed to be gone for an hour so, um. I’ll see you tomorrow to walk home?” she asked in the weirdest voice Clarke had ever heard come out of her mouth, already walking backwards, the gap between them widening by the second.

“Y-yeah, of course, but-”

“Great, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow… Unless, I mean... I get it if you can’t make it.”

“We always-”

“Yeah, I know. I just… it doesn’t matter. Have a good night, Clarke.” With that, Lexa wheeled around, shoving her hands deeply in her pockets as she power walked down the road toward her house. Clarke stood there for several seconds, her stomach clenching at the fake chipperness poorly veiled over the hurt look in her friend’s eyes as she all but ran away, obviously thinking she had done entirely the wrong thing.

Clarke had just been shocked.

She couldn’t help it. While over the years there had been random moments where she thought she saw a glimmer of… something, some spark in Lexa’s eyes, some look that made her wonder if maybe her friend had intentionally sat a little too close, hugged her a little longer than strictly necessary, she always reminded herself that there was no way the beautiful, kind, brave being that was Lexa Woods could actually like her. Could ever possibly feel… that way, about her.

In her mind, there was simply no chance her favorite person in the world could possibly want to date a disaster like her.

Being friends in a small town was one thing, a great way to waste time until Lexa could go on to be the amazing person Clarke knew her to be, in a place actually capable of appreciating her worth. But seeing Clarke as anything more than that? As someone worth looking twice at? Wanting to follow her to college? To kiss her? And... and......

God, she really wished she hadn’t frozen.

~*~*~*~

Much to Clarke’s dismay, Lexa never gave her the opportunity to cancel anyway, having not showed up to school the following day… or the day after that. The numerous fruitless attempts to check on her friend, phone calls not returned or Lexa’s mother giving haphazard excuses as to why the girl couldn’t be bothered at any random moment, left Clarke heavy hearted and more than a little terrified that she had irrevocably destroyed their friendship.

Of course she messed everything up, as usual. Once again, Clarke had managed to take something wonderful and turn it into complete and utter shambles. Only this time, it wasn’t some worthless job or childish painting.

It was Lexa.

She felt her heart disintegrate, the pain dripped and rotted in her lungs as each day passed without word from Lexa, the two usually spending every free moment together now meant large pockets of empty time were freed up for her to sit in a puddle of self-imposed doubt and ridicule.

But by the third day of radio silence, Clarke had had enough. Mustering every ounce of courage she had left, Clarke gathered her nightwear and toothbrush into a small duffle bag as usual, and headed over to Lexa’s house for their weekly Saturday night sleepover. She had decided that morning, absolute in her evaluation of the situation, that something had to give.

If Lexa didn’t want to be her friend anymore just because she had stumbled like a total buffoon, well then, she was just going to have to tell Clarke to her face.

Her new found righteous indignation, however, lasted about as long as it took for the Woods’ front door to swing open, a bored looking Anya staring back at her.

“I didn’t think you were coming over tonight.”

Welcome wagon indeed.

“Why wouldn’t I? I come over every Saturday,” she shrugged, slipping past the older girl and into the foyer.

“Uh, ‘cause Señorita Mopes-A-Lot has been holed up in her room all day? I got back from school this morning and I’ve barely seen her... Mom said she’s been weird the last couple days. You guys fight or something?”

Clarke worried her lip for a moment, not exactly sure how to answer that. “I, I don’t think so,” she answered honestly, not knowing what to do under the calculating eyes staring at her as she shifted on the spot.

“... Hm, dunno,” she shrugged eventually as she grabbed her coat from the hook by the door. “I’m going out for burgers. The ‘rents are off on a date night. Barf. So if you guys gotta fight or… whatever,” Anya winked, “you’re good.” Before Clarke could reply, or even begin to tamp down the blush that rose to her cheeks, the door was swiftly shut in her face.

Taking a moment to breathe in and out, trying to calm her nerves in the semi darkened hallway of the completely silent house, Clarke turned toward the staircase, carefully navigating her way up to the second floor, third door on the left.

She rapped her knuckles softly against the wooden door, the feeling of seeking permission for entrance after years of it never being required between the friends sent her stomach churning. A few seconds of silence passed before she knocked again a little louder, thinking perhaps the girl hadn’t heard her. When no response came, she gently turned the knob and poked her head inside.

The sight that greeted her was not anything she could have imagined.

Sitting there at her desk, large headphones on and notebooks stretched out in front of her was Lexa, her chin resting in her palm, the pointer finger of her other hand swiveling several inches above a pen as it glided across the page on it’s own.

The longer she stared the further her mouth dropped wide, her eyes following as the pen seemed to swirl and loop, tip and lean, spin and twirl in random designs without ever being touched by its owner. With a heavy sigh, the girl made a strange flicking motion with her fingers, the pen immediately stopping its hypnotic dance as it lifted up, moving instead to rest inside the metal pen holder that sat off to the side. Twisting around as though to get up, Lexa’s eyes fell on the figure frozen in her doorway.

Yanking the headphones from her head and tossing the small CD player back onto the desktop beside her, Lexa shot up from her chair, mouth moving several times in failed attempts before successfully being able to manage a sentence. “How long have you been there?” Seeing Clarke’s eyes refusing to move from the spot where the pen now sat, Lexa took a step forward, raising her hands to anxiously rub the sides of her face before covering her mouth as her chest heaved with strangled breaths. “How long, Clarke?” she demanded softly through the slats of her fingers, causing blue eyes to finally snap to green, the look of confusion never wavering.

“It’s you, isn’t it?”

Lexa swallowed thickly as she stared her down, terror and tears filling her eyes as she waited for Clarke to continue.

“All… all that stuff. It was you.”

“Clarke, please don’t be angry, okay. I can explain,” she pleaded as her hands fell away.

“I mean, I mean I see it now,” she remarked absently as she drifted over to the bed beside the wall, dropping her bag on the floor as she went. “It never occurred to me before, but… it makes sense now. It only ever happened when I was around you.”

“Clarke, please. I’m so sorry,” Lexa pleaded, folding to her knees in front of her friend as Clarke sat heavily on her bed. “I’m usually really good at keeping it under control. I never mess up… But sometimes, with you, especially when someone’s being cruel to you… it gets away from me. And these dumbasses blame you,” she thundered almost to herself. “And I-I don’t know what to do. I can’t just say ‘hey leave her alone, that was my magic that flung paint everywhere’ or ‘she’s not possessed you ignorant dweebs, I heard her scream and needed to get to her’... And then the other night… I’ve been so good, but he was being so mean, Clarke. I can’t watch people talk to you like that... But I can’t, I didn’t know how to explain it... And, ah god. Well, see, my mom made me promise when I was a kid that I wouldn’t tell anyone. She didn’t want anyone doing something to me-”

Her rambling mess of a pseudo apology (turned defense testimony) was cut off as gentle fingertips landed on her mouth, trapping her lips closed. Her eyes shot up to take in the bemused face of her friend, delicate blonde eyebrows cocked as Clarke shook her head softly. “Breathe,” she instructed quietly.

Lexa nodded minutely, sucking a much needed lungful of air in through her nose.

“If I move my hand are you going to let me talk?”

Another nod.

“Okay,” she said, pulling her hand back and resting it in her lap. She thought about everything her friend had just said, a revelation of information that completely transformed how she had always looked at herself and her life. Years spent really believing something was wrong with her, believing she had bad luck or was hexed or cursed or whatever the newest theory was around town.

She honestly couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her.

Her friend’s eyes blowing wide at the sound didn’t help.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Clarke choked out through her giggles, waving a dismissive hand in the air between them. “I just, I thought my whole life I was this cursed nutcase that the universe hated when, nope. It’s you.” Seeing the stricken look on Lexa’s face had her reaching forward, her hands cupping the girls jaw as Clarke shook her head. “Oh no, no, I didn’t mean it like that, I promise. I meant all the crazy stuff part was you. You’re not a nutcase. You’re actually officially the coolest person I’ve ever met, but I already knew that.”

“Wait, you’re… you’re not mad at me?” Lexa asked hesitantly.

“Why would I be mad at you?” she puzzled.

“Because,” Lexa spluttered, “this is all my fault. Everything. Everyone being so mean to you. You feeling bad about yourself.”

“You were also always the one defending me,” she smiled softly, tucking a loose curl back behind a tiny, flushed ear. “Always telling me to ignore them because they suck.”

“They do, Clarke. They suck so bad.”

Chucking lightly, Clarke nodded in agreement as she brushed her thumb over the soft skin of Lexa’s cheek. “Yeah, they do. But you were always there for me. You always promised me there was nothing wrong with me… and, boy, did you mean it,” she tacked on with a smirk.

An embarrassed smile crept over Lexa’s face before she looked down and pressed again, “So… you really don’t hate me?”

“Of course not, Lex,” she breathed, leaning down to catch the girl’s wandering gaze. “I could never hate you. I’m a little pissed you didn’t tell me earlier because, honestly, this is so freaking dope. That pen thing was insane. It would’ve been way more awesome letting the town think I’m a freak-show if I got to watch-” she stopped talking, head shooting up to look around the room as the lights flickered on and off a few times.

“Sorry,” Lexa muttered, her mouth pulled to the side in self-consciousness.

“Really?” she frowned.

“I get mad when I hear people talk about you like that, it just happens sometimes.”

“But it’s only me.”

“I don’t like it when you do it either.”

“Why? It’s just me."

“Because I’m in love with you, you idiot,” Lexa huffed loudly in a wild showing of irony, slumping back on her heels as she flung her arms out dramatically, flopping them back to her sides with a soft thump. “I don’t understand how you don’t get that.”

“I… I didn’t know,” she said quietly.

“Clarke,” Lexa said slowly, staring incredulously up at her best friend, “I am not exactly subtle about it. I spend all of my time with you. I constantly tell you how amazing I think you are, how beautiful you are even more often. I make you mixed CD's and keep all your favorite foods in my house. Even those gross raisin things that taste like a sugary foot.”

“Hey, those are good.”

“They’re really not, but I don’t care because you like them, so I buy them for you... And I get that you don’t feel the same way about me and that’s fine, but I don’t like listening to you talk like that because I care, alright? It pisses me off, because I love you and then weird shit happens like pumpkins almost killing your boss or the lights going wonky, so just don’t.” She ended her tirade with a aggravated sigh, arms firmly crossed over her chest as her jaw ticked slightly.

Clarke didn’t know what to say. She was shocked, to say the least, the words pinging around her chest before settling heavily in her heart. Lexa was right, she had always done all of those things, and more.

She was just… rather stupid.

“Kiss me again.” Clarke hadn’t realized the soft request had actually left her lips until wide startled eyes shot up to gape at her, the annoyed expression on her friend’s face morphing into confusion and fear.

“What?

“Kiss me again,” she repeated, bolder this time.

“No,” Lexa squeaked back, eyes now wandering around the carpet beside her.

“What? Why?”

“Because, Clarke,” she huffed, “you acted disgusted the last time I did.”

“I did not,” Clarke replied indignantly.

“Did too.”

“I did not.”

“You did.”

“Oh my god, are we eight again?” Clarke chuckled incredulously.

“Well you could always just kiss me, ya know,” Lexa sniped back with a frown. That stopped her for a moment, Clarke turning the words slowly over in her mind, ultimately deciding the girl had a point.

“Okay.”

Leaning forward, she wrapped a hand around the back of Lexa’s neck, pulling her up and onto sure and desperate lips. Feeling hands fly to her thighs as the girl steadied herself at the abrupt change of position, Clarke tried her best to follow her instincts, wrapping her free arm securely around Lexa’s slim waist as she slowly moved her lips against the soft pillows that yielded to her every move.

The small moan that vibrated across her lips left Clarke feeling lightheaded, her heart thudding pleasently in her chest at the noise.

Pulling back after a few long moments, Clarke’s eyes slid open to see the dreamy smile drift across Lexa’s face, green still hidden behind fluttering lids. Grinning softly, Clarke moved a hand to cup her jaw, running a gentle thumb across kiss-plumped lips as fingers squeezed around her thighs. “Was that okay?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t think I’d be any good at kissing,” she admitted sheepishly.

“It was perfect… You’re perfect.”

“You gonna look at me anytime soon, doofus?”

“No,” Lexa breathed, shaking her head as she nuzzled the hand still holding on to her. “When I open my eyes, you always disappear.”

Melting into a puddle of affection and regret, Clarke threaded her fingers through silken curls, nails lightly scratching and soothing. “Baby,” she whispered, feeling a shiver run through the girl kneeling in front of her, “... Open your eyes.”

Lexa’s eyes flew open at the gentle command, the lights buzzing brighter around them as she stared at Clarke in awe.

“I think your lightbulbs are going to bust if you don’t chill out a little bit,” Clarke grinned after a moment. She couldn’t help but snort when Lexa snapped her fingers absently as she rose from her spot on the floor, the overhead light clicking off to bathe the room in velvet pitch black. “Well now I can’t see you at all.”

Snapping her fingers again, several decorative candles around the room sparked to life, splashing flickering shadows against the walls but illuminating the room enough for Clarke to catch the tail end of Lexa’s amused eye roll. “Happy, dear?”

“Holy shit, this is unreal,” Clarke murmured, her eyes trailing around the room as she scoot back, making room for Lexa to slowly crawl up and over her to finally settle on Clarke’s lap. She wrapped her arms around soft hips to hold her close, looking up into green twinkling brighter than the small flames that danced around them.

“I know,” Lexa said, leaning forward to press deep kisses to cherry sweet lips. “I’ve been dreaming about this for so long.”

“No, I meant…”

“Mmm, what?”

“Never mind.”

“Tell me,” Lexa whispered, moving up to suck a tender lobe between her lips. Closing her eyes at the feeling of soft teeth skating across her skin, Clarke relaxed into the familiar lithe arms guiding her back onto the small bed.

“It’s just crazy,” Clarke sighed as she settled her head on the pillow. Running her hands along the bends and curves of Lexa's waist, she smirked impishly up at the girl now hovering over her, “I mean... I’m in love with Bewitched.”

~*~*~*~


	2. You've always been magic to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely disgusting level of fluff. Just, I mean nothin but fluff.

“I’m glad you finally came home, I missed you, kid.”

“I know, dad,” Clarke smiled, allowing her father to slowly twirl her around the dance floor. She didn’t mind that he was actually a terrible dancer, her happiness overwhelming anything that could possibly come her way as she took each pinch of her toes in unwavering stride. 

“When you get back for good, we’re starting up Sunday family brunches again.”

Clarke just chuckled and nodded, continuing to move easily along with her father. She remembered how excited he had sounded over the phone all those months ago when she had called, letting him know that they intended to move home for good after graduation. Jake had been crushed when they’d told him they would be going to college across the country, but he managed a brave face when she had explained her need for a fresh start in a town free from the reputation that had plagued her the majority of her life. It had been hard for them both, their friendship a large part of what made them the people they were despite being father and daughter.

But now she was home and almost completely settled in, though her father still seemed intent on making up for lost time, not that she was complaining at the paternal attentiveness. It had been nice reconnecting with her family and her town, the people still a bit standoffish, but her maturity and experience helping to keep her from caring. 

“I’m sure that’ll be fine… I’ve missed your blueberry pancakes.”

“What’s that yokel been feeding you on Sunday mornings?” he asked, scandalized worry crossing his face as the song changed to a familiar melody.

Seamlessly changing the rhythm of their movements to match the new tempo, Clarke rolled her eyes with an exasperated smile. “Believe it or not, I actually do most of the cooking.” At his exaggeratedly look of horror, Clarke tapped him on the arm, giggling along with him all the same. “Hey, I am a pretty decent cook.”

“Clarke… you used to burn popcorn.”

“But I’m better now,” she assured, “How do you think we survived for seven years?”

“It’s true, Jake,” Clarke heard from behind her, her smile widening as she felt the hand settle against her lower back. “If she had left me in charge, we probably would have lived on takeout and a microwave alone.”

“You’re telling me with… all you can do,” he asked quietly, taking a small step back when Clarke naturally relaxed into the arm that wound around her waist, “you can’t manage a blueberry pancake?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, Lexa shook her head in defeat. “Not really. Bizarrely, that’s pretty much the only thing I can’t figure out how to do… I do make a mean bowl of cereal though.”

“I couldn’t be more proud,” Jake teased, pretending to wipe away a single tear. “My two talented girls.”

“Thanks, dad,” Lexa smiled, gently resting her temple against the woman beside her. “Think I could steal your daughter for another dance?”

“You mean you actually expect to dance with your wife at your own wedding? The nerve,” he whispered, pressing a hand to his chest. 

“I know, I have always been the pushy one.”

“You’ve met Clarke, right?” he joked, stepping forward to wrap his daughter-in-law in a small hug.

“Uh, aren’t fathers supposed to treat their daughter like a princess on their wedding day?” Clarke huffed.

“I am,” Jake insisted, placing a kiss on Clarke's forehead as he started to walk away, “Lexa, sweetheart, you’re a princess.”

Snorting as she watched her father leave with a wave, Clarke turned into the arms that circled her, leaning up to kiss amused lips and winding her arms around the woman’s neck to play with a few curls that had escaped throughout the party. “You always were his favorite anyway.”

“Not true,” Lexa argued quietly as she began guiding them around the dance floor, “Who always got the best seat on movie nights?”

“Ah, yes. The real measure of love.” Lexa simply smiled indulgently, Clarke tipping further into forests of green as she thoughtlessly moved to the whim of her wife. 

The day had been more wonderful than she ever thought possible, enchanted by the lights and the sparkle that surrounded them as they said their ‘I do’s. They decided on an evening wedding, prefering to speak the shimmer of their vows under the familiar blanket of stars they grew up and in love under. 

As lovely as it had been, the majority of the day had been spent driving their families crazy, sending messages and unnecessary words of reassurance back and forth as they waited for the time when they would finally do what they had spent years dreaming of. 

Clarke thought the tradition of spending the day away from each other ridiculous, firmly drawing the line at spending the previous evening apart, but willing to compromise with her mother and soon to be in-law's that the day-of would be reserved to individual families. Not that it mattered much in the end, Lexa sending her small feelings and affections through family members and enchanted notes, her favorite being the tiny self flying origami crane that had fluttered through her window bearing a simple drawing of two stick figure brides, one with a black pointed hat, the other grasping a paintbrush, complete with the words, ‘Love, Your Utterly Bewitched Future Wife.’

And she’d never be able to describe how overcome she had felt, still steadying herself at the end of the aisle after her father had kissed her cheek and taken his place beside her mother, seeing the love of her life round the last row of seats. Clarke had struggled to breathe as she watched Lexa walk forward, looking so small next to the hulking form her father, yet still powerful and otherworldly, shining brighter the closer she drew, absently thankful they'd had the foresight to finesse the lighting system to keep things discreet incase of surges and… other things.

No one seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn’t care, the twinkle and shimmer of light as they promised each other forever only adding to the magical affair. It felt right, it felt natural, and so intrinsically ‘them’, Clarke hadn’t been surprised at Lexa managing to make the day more enchanting without even trying at all.

She had spent so long believing this would never be her reality, that every once in a while, the feeling of them still robbed the breath from her lungs. Wrapped up in her wife’s arms with a promise sealed on her finger and the honeyed flavored words of devotion still lingering on their lips, the couple made their way fluidly across the dance floor in the middle of the sprawling park.

“Hey." Lifting her head from a soft shoulder at the whispered word from above, Clarke looked up into adoring eyes, the rejoicing moon and fireflies dancing in their reflection. “You wanna get outta here?”

“Are you asking me to bail on our wedding party?” Clarke laughed as they continued to sway.

“Just for a little bit,” Lexa nodded, dropping a kiss to her lips. “We’ll come back. There’s something I want to show you.”

“If this is the opening to something dirty…” At the amused huff from her wife, Clarke smiled and rolled her eyes. “My mom-”

“Is taken care of,” she swiftly cut in, moving them closer and closer to the far edge of the dance floor. “I enlisted Anya and my mom to keep her busy for awhile. They could only promise me ten minutes, but if they can’t find us…” 

Unable to say no and too in love with her relaxed shrug to care, Clarke relented with a sigh, breaking away from the dance and threading their fingers together softly. 

“Well, then, I guess I’m all yours.”

~*~*~*~

“You wanted to take me for a walk through town?”

“Mhm.”

“... The town we grew up, and now live together in?”

“Yes,” Lexa said happily as she led them further down the street, lazily swinging their hands between them. 

Clarke wasn’t complaining, the night cool and crisp and comfortable, a slight warming feeling traveling from her palm through her body more than enough to stave off the slight chill. It was just confusing, having walked for several minutes in silence, the sound of their party growing fainter as they went. While it brought up fond memories of their countless nights ambling through town, she was confused as to the walk's purpose, as they drew level with-

“Our old school?”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded as she steered them to the gate, gently tapping the padlock and undoing the latch with a small clink. 

“Ooo, breaking and entering. While this is exciting, I don’t exactly remember doing this in our not-so tainted youth,” she chuckled even as she allowed herself to be walked over to the single swing set that sat off to the side.

“That's not the memory I'm going for… Sit right here,” Lexa instructed, guiding her to one swing in particular before taking a step back to admire the scene. “This… This is what I’ll always remember most.”

“A grown woman in a child’s swing?”

“The first time I saw you,” Lexa smiled, wrapping her arms around her waist at the memory. “You were having a swinging contest with… I have no idea who, I actively forgot most of these people. But anyway... there you were, just like that.”

“You remember the first time you saw me?” Clarke asked, surprised, feeling the burgeoning sting of emotion behind her eyes, silently thanking the gods of invention for waterproof mascara for the millionth time that day. 

Nodding slowly, Lexa moved around behind her, placing a hand on her back and pushing her softly. “I was playing red light-green light, and they had called red, and out of the corner of my eye I saw someone going really high… I looked over, and I saw this person… well, really, I saw your hair,” she chuckled to herself as she continued to lightly push her, the swing only moving a few feet either way. “It looked so… gold, in the sun. I thought it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen… I lost the game because of it actually. Which, by the way, I was really sore about until lunch.”

“I can’t believe you remember that,” Clarke hummed as her eyes slid closed, bathing herself in her wife's words as she enjoyed the gentle movement and fresh breeze of evening air.

“I'm fairly certain I thought you were a doll or something,” Lexa giggled. “I just remember thinking I wanted to be your friend so, so badly. But we weren’t in the same kindergarten class… And," she stressed, "I still talked like I had never heard the ‘th’ or 'vuh' sounds before.”

“Hey,” Clarke smiled as she came to a stop, twisting in her seat to look up at her wife. “I’ll have you know that I still think that was cute whenever I remember it.”

“I called you Clork for like a year.”

“And I still am your Clork,” she teased as she rose from her seat when Lexa reached for her hand. “So,” Clarke drawled lightly, tucking herself into Lexa’s side as they made their way out of the playground, her wife snapping her fingers lazily as the gate closed and relocked, "Any more stops on this trip down memory lane?”

“... Just a few places more.”

~*~*~*~

As they neared the brightly lit parking lot, Clarke couldn’t help but shake her head, laughing her disbelief as to what exactly was happening. “The grocery store?”

“Well, sorta,” Lexa sighed as she plopped down on the small wooden bench at the end of the corner, brushing a few stray leaves aside for the woman to sit down. “This bench is more accurate, although we had just come out of the store.”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke puzzled, thumbing a few curled ringlets away from Lexa’s temple.

“It was the summer before your fourteenth birthday, and we had just gone in and gotten those really gross purple ice cream sandwiches that we used to like.”

“Oh, I had forgotten about those," she grimaced, "Those were terrible.”

“They were. But we stopped here to eat them, and I remember it was so hot out that it was dripping everywhere. And I remember watching you getting so annoyed with how sticky your hands were getting… I knew then that I was pretty sure I was in love with you.”

“What?” Clarke burst out in a fit of laughter, her face scrunching up at the vision of a memory she couldn’t recall. “Oh god, no wonder. That does sound seductive… Wait, you didn’t even know you were a lesbian then.”

“No, but I knew I liked you... I had been,  _ whew _ , really going through it the whole year over you. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I was feeling things for you that other kids said they felt for boys. So that freaked me out a bit, but… after that day I kinda knew.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Lexa hummed, threading their fingers in and out of each other as she held them in her lap, her eyes looking at Clarke but seeing miles into their past. “I watched you lick a dribble of purple off the side of your hand, then you turned to me and said, ‘These are the dumbest invention I’ve ever seen,’ before stalking off to throw away your wrapper… And I just watched you and my heart squeezed  _ so _ tight… All I wanted to do was kiss you, and hug you, and that scared the shit out of me.”

“Poetic.”

“I know, I thought about putting it in my vows.” She paused to listen to her wife’s laughter before continuing with a wistful grin. “But yeah, this is the place I fell in love with you. Or, realized I was in love with you, really… And everyday after I have only fallen harder and deeper... I just wanted to bring myself back here today. I wish I could tell my terrified younger self that it was all going to be okay. That I wasn’t gross or crazy, and that the girl I loved would eventually love me too.”

“I did love you then, Lex,” Clarke assured her quietly, shuffling closer as they rested their heads together softly. “You were magic to me long before I ever knew it was you. I just… with everything, I thought there was no way someone as amazing as you could love someone like me.”

They had discussed it this side and that side, in circles and squares, each finding fault and forgiveness in the unfortunate series of miscommunications and lack of courage that led to unnecessary years feeling less than desired. Still, each were able and willing to claim their own culpability in the situation, often times finding it more ridiculous than anything.

“Well, I also would tell younger me to stop being such a dumbass and just tell you I had magic. I mean what was that?” she scoffed lightly as she stood, Clarke following closely as they began to move down the street.

“You didn’t know,” Clarke chided, knocking Lexa on the shoulder at her words. “And don’t say stuff like that. We both decided not to tell mom and dad for years for a reason. Look how long it took us to tell Raven. You never know how people-”

“I know, I know,” Lexa grinned, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head. “But still, you’d think in eleven years of friendship I’d have figured out how to say it eventually. Instead I get ratted out by a stupid pen glammer.”

Practically hearing the eyeroll in her wife’s eyes, Clarke rested her arms around Lexa's slim waist as they walked, remembering that night and how her life had shifted so drastically, everything becoming so different and yet staying entirely the same. Breathing in lungfuls of champagne and perfume, Clarke sighed softly as they meandered on. “Well… I thought it was cool.”

“At the very least I could’ve started with something sick, like the floaty thing.”

“I’m fairly sure we were too young for the floaty thing,” Clarke murmured, hiding her smirk into the huffing woman’s shoulder.

“I meant a G rated version, you fiend.” At the unimpressed look leveled at her as Clarke pulled away, Lexa tilted her head to the side and relented. “Fine, PG-13. But still… what a gyp.”

~*~*~*~

"Do you remember this place?"

Clarke leaned against the lamp pole, grinning widely at the woman relaxing back against the tree across from her. "How could I forget? This is where some crazy girl stole my first kiss."

"And every kiss after," Lexa smirked, twirling her fingers toward the branches above her. The very leaves seemed to come alive, shimmering and glowing, bathing the street in warm oranges and yellows as the lamppost went dark. 

"Lexa," Clarke whispered, stepping over hastily, grabbing her hand and dragging it down as though that would do a single thing to stop it. "What are you doing? They could be home, they could see," she rushed out, nodding to the house across the lawn a good distance behind her.

"It's okay, love," Lexa assured as she pulled her closer, pinning herself between rough bark and soft hips. "Nobody lives there right now."

Deflating with a sigh, Clarke melted into her wife, relaxing as hands travelled from her waist to her shoulders, feather light fingers dancing over the lace of her dress. 

"At least until we move our things in."

It took a long moment for the words to break her attention from chin, jaw, and neck, landing cattywampus in Clarke's mind as she slowly pulled back. The nervous smile on Lexa's lips as she watched her swallow and shift sent Clarke's stomach flipping in pleasant confusion. "... What?"

"I bought it… I bought us a house." Obviously growing more nervous the deeper the furrow between Clarke's brow grew, Lexa cleared her throat and hurried to continue. "I just thought, I mean we both hate that apartment, and we've talked so much about wanting our own place for our family and… And it has-"

"You bought us a house?"

"Yes. And it has everything you wanted, including a space for you to work," Lexa plowed on, not missing a beat as the words continued to tumble out. "And an extra bedroom for guests or, or if we decide to have kids." Clarke looked up as the leaves began to glow brighter the longer she babbled, absently wondering if the overload of magic could accidentally catch it on fire. "And it's only like five minutes from my office and our parents' houses, so it's really convenient."

"Lex," she tried stepping closer again. 

"And, yeah we're gonna have to paint the outside because we hate that color, but the inside is beautiful-"

"Lexa."

"Real wood floors and stone tile in the kitchen. And the bathrooms!" she exclaimed, "You know how you always wanted one of those jet-"

Tired of waiting for her turn to speak, Clarke lifted up, swiftly pressing her lips to still moving ones as she cupped the jaw that had been refusing to cease. The flow of words cut off into a low moan of appreciation, the hands on her back gripping firmly in thanks. Pulling away, Clarke took in the dazed look on her wife's face, green eyes staring flatly at her lips as she spoke. "You really bought us a house?"

"Mhm," Lexa hummed low, nodding with distraction. "The papers are ready for you to sign."

"We have a home?" Clarke breathed, her eyes flitting between her wife's and the large silhouette in the distance. "That's… Really?"

"I ran into Kenny, the guy who owns it now that his parents are gone. He wants to move to the city and, and I wanted a place that we could call our own," Lexa explained quietly as she lightly ran her fingers through golden curls. "I want a life with you, and I thought… why not here? Right where we started… We've been across the country, and eventually I'm sure we'll travel across the globe, but… at the end of the day, I always want to come home to you. To this moment, and this spot… Because it's the first place my life ever started to make sense."

"Lex," she choked out, smiling softly as lithe fingers brushed away her tears, falling deeper into the life and love she had built with this woman.

"You said yes over a year ago, and I do earlier this evening... I know I've asked a lot of you, but I'm hoping you'll say you want it too, now that I'm asking you to make this house our home."

"I want it too," Clarke immediately sniffled with a nod, "I want this with you."

Lexa kissed her deeply, heart captured and claimed as fully as one can be, yet a longing for more still thrumming through her lips. Clarke felt these kinds of kisses from the tip of her head to the curl of her toes, the sweep of Lexa's tongue echoing loudly with the message of how she'd never be sated from her  _ want _ , as though the totality of Clarke's being could never match Lexa's hunger for her. It was dizzying and overwhelming in the gentlest of ways, realizing your sum could never reach the measure of another's yearning for your whole. 

But Clarke had long since learned her lesson in Lexa, blissfully and peacefully. 

She had learned years ago to make peace with her insufficiency, that though there were limitations dictated by physics and the universe and things far grander than either of their control, Lexa didn't mind, and would forever continue to seek. She would drink from Clarke's lips and find nourishment in her touch, thriving off her unending quest for immersion, lack of satiation be damned. 

Before long she felt weightless, cradled securely in the hold of sure arms, pulling away slightly, only to smile as kiss swollen lips chased her own. "Baby… baby," she chuckled, undeterrable lips pressing to her teeth, "we're floating."

"What? Oh, shit," Lexa tsked to herself as she finally glanced around, gently lowering them to the ground with a nonplussed shrug. "Oops."

"You're hopeless, Woods."

"Griffin-Woods," she corrected softly, pressing their heads together for a moment and inhaling deeply. "We should head back, they've probably started forming search parties… and Raven has more than likely traumatized you mother by now."

Snorting quite elegantly, Clarke easily agreed, sliding an arm around her wife's hips as they started on their way, smiling despite herself when she heard the quick click of fingers.

~*~*~*~

Clarke blushed furiously at the wolf whistles they received as they neared the small gathering, shaking her head as her wife's chest puffed with pride. 

"Where'd you two sneak off to?"

"Jesus christ, don't answer that," Anya groaned, shoving the woman beside her as she sipped her champagne. 

"What?" Raven scoffed as they retook their seats, Lexa threading their fingers consolingly in Clarke's lap. "It ain't nothing I haven't heard before. Or seen before, for that matter. Do you have any idea how many times I accidentally walked in on these two in our campus apartment?"

Clarke let her eyes drift closed as her mother cleared her throat loudly, her father shaking his head as he stared blankly at their friend. "I didn't need to know that. I didn't need to know any of that."

"Please excuse our guest, Jake. She's not house trained," Lexa glared at her friend, smirking evilly as the woman jumped from the phantom jolt through her fingers.

"It's fine, I'm invoking my selective amnesia," he smiled pleasantly and tapping his temple.

"You promised you'd stop that electricity shit," Raven grumbled as she shook the feeling back into her hand.

"And you promised you wouldn't make my father-in-law uncomfortable," she replied easily, leaning back in her chair as Clarke shuffled over. 

"How about we all behave?" she suggested lightly. "Lexa, no zapping. Raven, find your filter." The tentative truce being accepted by all, Clarke nodded her approval as she snuggled closer. "Good. Now, that that's settled, I want more cake."

~*~*~*~

"Ya know," she heard groaned from the other end of the couch, "when we agreed to fly our asses out here for your wedding, I did not realize I was signing up for moving day as well."

"We're almost done," Lexa grunted beside her, their hips bumping slightly as they maneuvered around the corner. "Over here."

"Here?"

"More to the left."

"No that's too far."

"Oh for fucks sake," Raven exclaimed, halting in her tracks and bending to set her edge down. 

Unable to carry the full weight alone, Anya set her edge down as well, not caring that the other half was still being held in the air. "Seriously, dude," she huffed, taking the bandana from her girlfriend and wiping her brow as she walked away. "This is stupid, once it's inside you can just magic this shit wherever you want."

Lexa stared at her angrily for a moment before the scowl dropped away, replaced by a look realization, quickly followed by a wince. Clarke would've laughed if she weren't afraid of dropping her edge and scratching their flooring. 

Her wife had been right, because of course she had been, Clarke falling instantly and madly in love with the house. They had signed the papers as quickly as possible, the couple accepting the wedding present from Lexa's parents of the money to pay the fee for breaking their apartment lease so they could move in right away. Though they had moved in their bed a few days prior, already thoroughly christening the home three ways from Sunday, today was the official day to move everything in. 

Clarke had been impressed by her wife's tactical approach, assigning friends and family specific jobs to cut down on foot traffic despite the spacious layout. While her friend and sister-in-law helped them lug the heaviest loads of furniture and tables, their parents covered the unpacking of the kitchen and bathrooms. She was mildly surprised at how smoothly it had all gone as they eased the end of the couch down in tandem.

"Sorry," Lexa sighed as she stood straight once again, twisting side to side in an attempt to stretch her back. "I wasn't thinking. But, hey, that's the only really big piece so..."

"You're an idiot," Raven called as she moved to the hallway on her way to grab the last of the boxes. 

Lexa nodded in agreement as she raised her palm to face out, lifting the whole piece an inch off the floor. "Oh, hang on, let me ride," Clarke chuckled as she darted around the front, hopping up onto the cushions with brilliant smile.

She didn't think she'd ever get tired of this.

"Wanna go for a spin?" Lexa asked amusedly, slowly swirling her finger, raising the couch higher so it could begin turning in circles, making sure to go just fast enough for Clarke to have to cling on. 

"Swing me," Clarke asked, though it came out more a demand, patting the spot beside her as she moved to get comfortable. 

"Yes, dear," Lex's grinned as she stopped the movement when it faced the right way, hopping up on the seat and into waiting arms.

"This is nice," Clarke hummed, her nose buried deep in slightly damp curls, the faint smell of fresh skin, soap, and sweat filling her senses with home. 

"It is," Lexa agreed quietly, her finger tipping in rhythm with their gentle sway. "We're gonna be happy here, you know?"

Pulling back to look into contented oceans of green, Clarke smiled softly, pressing a kiss to plump lips. 

"Yeah, I think we are."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/Comments very much appreciated, thanks so much for reading!


	3. Remember when we were...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of their Christmases
> 
> Song choice: Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic by Sleeping at Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how a Halloween prompt turned into a Christmas thing but fuck it, here ya go. Happy Holidays Clexa family!

Remember when we were...

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

10...

"Merry Christmas, Clarke!"

"Merry Christmas, Lexa," Clarke grinned as best as she could, half running, half galloping toward her favorite person at school. 

Lexa just stood there with dopey sort of smile, nervously waiting for her big reveal as she clutched the small surprise. "Hey, Clarke," she beamed, throwing her spindly arms around her best friend's shoulders, pulling back enough to direct her over to the swings. "I umm… I got you somethin'. Well me and my mom did. But it's from me. She just helped me save and stuff. And drove me there. Obviously."

Clarke looked so confused as Lexa rambled on, which only served to make Lexa even more nervous as she clutched the tiny box. "You didn't have to get me anything," Clarke eventually interjected, shaking her head softly as she leaned against the cold metal bar of their playground swing set."I… I didn't get anything for you."

"That's okay," Lexa nodded excitedly. "I just wanted you to have this."

"Now I feel like a bad friend."

"Hey," Lexa frowned, shaking her head angrily, "don't say stuff like that. You're a great friend, my best friend. That's why I got this for you… Well, really it's for us." At the deepening look of confusion, Lexa shuffled forward, sliding the lid off the top of the box in her hand so Clarke could have a look. "It's- they're a set. And, and you take one and I take one. And then we both have half."

Clarke just stood there and stared, her eyes never moving from the small bisected heart. Wetting her lips in a nervous fidget, Lexa wondered if her friend thought this stupid.

It probably was, she should've known, should've listened when her sister said it was lame. But she just wanted Clarke to really _ know _ how much their friendship meant to her. Stomach twisted in ill-tempered knots, Lexa started to slide the lid back onto the box. 

Before Lexa could react, the box was squished between herself and the body that had crashed forward into a hug. Laughing in relief at the apparent enthusiasm, Lexa worked to wriggle her arms out from where they were pinned to her chest so she could return the embrace. 

"Thank you, Lexa," Clarke whispered quietly into a bright red, tiny ear. "You're my best friend too."

"Let's put 'em on," Lexa rushed out in exalted excitement, pulling back enough to grab the half embossed with a boldly etched 'BEST' that hung from one of the small silver chains. Handing it over, she then snagged the other one, shoving the empty box carelessly into her pocket as she fumbled with the clasp for a moment before it was secured around her neck. "It's awesome. Now everybody will know we're best friends."

"I'm pretty sure everybody already knows that, Lex."

"Yeah but now it's like, _ official _. Like, for life. 'Cause see? Look," she said, stepping closer to grab the pendants hanging from matching chains and connecting them in the middle. "You have half of my heart, and I have half of yours, so that way both have a whole."

"I'm not sure that's how hearts or fractions work."

Lexa giggled, smooshing a hand over Clarke's snow chilled cheek. "You know what I mean, dork."

"Thank you, Lexa. I love it… I hope we're best friends forever..."

Cheeks burning brightly as she smiled with pride and promise, Lexa nodded easily. "I _know_ we will be."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

16...

"This is the year."

"Uh huh."

"Shut up, it is. I can feel it."

"Sure."

"Can you like, be encouraging?" Lexa huffed as she scurried around the room, fingers dancing in absent patterns as last minute ornaments and curls of brightly colored bows twitched, then jumped into place. "I'm freaking out right now."

"I don't know why; you two losers literally see each other every day... Every. Single. Day."

Groaning in annoyance, Lexa skidded to a halt in front of the mirror in the hallway, zhuzhing the ends of her accentuated curls. "Because, you jerk, I'm actually going to… ya know…"

"Make your move?"

"Don't make it sound like that."

"Wine and dine her?"

"Anya-"

"Sixty-n-"

"If you finish that shit, I swear to god you won't be able to speak for a week," Lexa threatened menacingly to her sister, whirling around to stare her down. 

Rolling her eyes Anya tossed her hands up carelessly, sighing as she dragged herself up from the couch. "Look, stop freaking out, Don Juan. On the off chance that you actually manage to get yourself together enough to confess that you've been a slobbering, pining mess for the past four years-"

"I hate you."

"-I'm sure she'll be more than on board," Anya finished, grabbing her thick jacket and sliding it on. "You two are joined at the hip. I guarantee she's got the hots for you just as much as you do her. Stop worrying."

"... You really think so?" Lex asked after a long moment, holding a hand to the flat of her stomach, sending soothing waves of energy to calm it's wild flipping. 

Nodding boredly, Anya grabbed her keys, reaching out to muss her sisters hair but missing her duck by mile. "I know it, dude… besides, Clarke's-... here. Hey, Clarke… and company."

The color draining from her face, Lexa snapped her fingers discreetly to stop the soft music playing, shuffling over to elbow her sister out of the way. She sighed heavily at the sight before her, sagging against the handle in overwhelming dejection. 

"Jeeez, don't seem so excited to see me," Wells chuckled, stepping inside as she opened the door wider. 

Forcing a smile and a breath of a laugh, Lexa swatted him on the shoulder as he walked past and on into the living room. "Shut it, of course I'm happy to see you."

"See, Wells? I told you she wouldn't care," Clarke said as she followed him in, toeing off her shoes and hanging her coat on the hook labeled 'Clarke', in between the ones labeled 'Lexa' and 'Wells'. "He dropped by to give my mom some cookies from his mom, so I told him he should just tag along for movie night. You don't care right?"

Smiling more earnestly despite her disappointment, Lexa nodded easily from where she leaned against the door. "Of course, Clarke. As long as you're here, I'm good."

"I knew it, he's such a drama queen. Whatever. I'm gonna go grab sodas- Your hair looks amazing by the way."

"Thank- Oh, uh, you know what, I actually made cocoa. It's in the kitchen if you- if you guys want some. There's peppermint… just like you like."

Moaning deliciously and causing Lexa's weak knees to wobble, Clarke grabbed Lexa and pulled her in for a hug, "You're a god amongst plebs." Chuckling slightly, Lexa returned the hug and then some, glancing at her sister's sympathetic face on the other side of the hall. Releasing her with a flourish, Clarke spun on the spot. "Wells! I call middle seat and first dibs on hot chocolate."

She watched the girl of her dreams saunter relaxedly toward the kitchen, staring morosely even when she was well out of sight. 

A soft knuckle to her chin, got her attention, turning to look at the face filled with second-hand chagrin. "Sorry, little sis."

"It's fine," Lexa immediately tried to rally, straightening up from where she had slumped. "Go on, enjoy your night out. We'll be fine."

"Not really worried about that," Anya sighed as she stepped through the door. 

"Really, it's fine. Just… wasn't meant to be this Christmas, obviously."

"Maybe not right _ now _," she stressed, tapping Lexa on the shoulder. "But you'll have other chances. Or maybe she'll actually get a clue one of these days."

"We'll see," Lexa grinned softly, waving goodbye as her sister trundled down the steps. Collapsing back against the wood of the door after it had closed, she let her eyes slide shut in a depressed state of lament.

"You okay, Lex?"

Jumping at the quiet question, her eyes flew open, landing on the concerned face that was bent around the corner. Hitching a smirk on her lips, Lexa nodded easily. 

Pushing away from the door, she moved toward the kitchen, bumping their hips as she slowly walked past. 

"Yep, I'm all good. Just normal Anya being an ass."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

17...

Twirling her fingers discreetly toward the top of the arch of the brightly lit doorway, Lexa snuck up behind the girl as quietly as she could. Waiting until she was just close enough, Lexa shot out her hands to grab the girl's sides as she pressed in close. "Whatcha doin'?"

Yelping, Clarke flew around, eyes filled with fury before realizing actually who it was. "Dammit, Lexa," Clarke scowled, shoving her arm lightly as she deflated from the scare. 

"Sorry, too easy," Lexa shrugged, moving to lean on the wall beside her. "But seriously, what're you doing? You should be enjoying the party. Christmas time, 'yay!'", she quietly exclaimed, wiggling her hands in a feigned jazzy motion. 

"I'm just making everyone nervous," Clarke sighed, draining the last of her drink. "Mrs. Baxter almost fell over when she realized I was behind her when I tried to grab some crackers… And Mr. Shaw and Mr. Duncan legitimately just stopped talking and walked away when they noticed I was over by the stereo. And-"

"Forget them," Lexa cut in, reaching out to tug on the girl's ugly sweater, smiling at the vision of her gorgeous friend decked out in such hideous 'dancing reindeer' attire... that just so happened to match her own perfectly. "Seriously. They're my parents friends but they suck and I hate them."

"You hate everyone in this town."

"Not everyone," Lexa corrected quietly and then swallowed, steeling her nerves enough to grin and continue. "... Not you."

Her heart hammered wildly at the soft smile she received as she unconsciously began to drift closer. Because Clarke looked _ so _ pretty, and fuck it, this was gonna be her year. She was beyond done with waiting around for a miracle to happ-

"Hey, twerps."

"Godammit, Anya," she snapped quietly, head turning sharply to glare at the grinning woman. 

"Mouth, Alexandria," her sister sniffed, raising a camera that had been dangling heavily from her wrist. "Mom told me to make a round for some party pictures, so smile and be merry or whatever."

Rolling her eyes, Lexa wrapped an arm around Clarke's shoulders, painting an annoyed smile across her face that she would later come to learn just looked pained. "Happy?" she huffed, blinking the flash from her eyes. 

"It'll do, pig. It'll do."

"I hate you."

"Hey, look at that," Anya nonchalantly motioned upward as she very incorrectly flapped the photo in her hand, "mistletoe."

Face burning red at being caught out by her sister, Lexa watched as Clarke's eyes drew up, a faint blush creeping over the porcelain of her friend's neck. "Oh uh, I didn't even notice that when I came over."

"Yeah, things do tend to just _ magically _ pop up around here."

"What?"

"Nothing," Lexa swiftly cut in, silently mouthing _ 'I'm going to kill you' _ before snapping her head back toward Clarke with a relaxed smile, ignoring Anya's quiet expulsion of pain as she sent a small zap to the tip of her finger. "Anyway, y-you don't have to, of course… But I mean… tradition _ is _ tradition. I mean I'm okay with it. If you are."

"Pretty sure it's bad luck if you don't," Anya sing-songed as she wandered away. 

Exhilarated at the prospect and the visions of pink supple lips pressing ardently against her, Lexa grinned nervously, shrugging in what she hoped a showing of slightly tempered excitement. "What do you say?"

Clarke chewed on her lip for a few suspenseful minutes, eyes dragging up to the mistletoe and then back down to her own. "... Well god knows I definitely don't need anymore bad luck," she admitted quietly, the words causing Lexa's stomach to twist with guilt and a spark of elation, thinking it was _ finally _ going to happen despite... all that. 

Eventually Clarke shrugged, tossing her arms around Lexa's shoulders to pull her in, not wasting a moment before laying a firm and commanding kiss…

... directly to the curve of Lexa's warm, pinked cheek. 

"Mwah," Clarke said with a flourish while pulling back, taking a moment to wipe away the small smudge of her lip gloss. Smiling brightly, Clarke rested her head on the slumped form of her shoulder, tightening her arms in a snug embrace. "Maybe you'll be my lucky charm this year," she hummed quietly. "... Merry Christmas, Lex."

"Merry Christmas," Lexa whispered, biting her lip to stop it from trembling. Resigning herself to the missed opportunity and too chicken to try again, Lexa buried her face into silky golden locks and deeply breathed in. 

"I love you, ya know?"

"... I love you too, Clarke."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

18...

"Where is the fire? The passion? I wanna see some gumption here."

"Wells, let it die, man."

"No, dude, c'mon. This could be your year, get it together!"

Rolling her eyes, Lexa caught the pillow being thrown at her, magically sending it back into her friend's stomach at twice the velocity. Content with the corresponding _ 'oof, you dick' _, Lexa shook her head as she continued to stare at the tv. "It's never my year. Clarke doesn't feel that way about me and I just need to get over it."

"Nah, I'm telling you, she's in love with you, I know it."

"Oh really? Then tell me why she's never made a single move? I've done everything but literally throw myself at her. And technically I even tried that last summer when I pretended to trip and fall into her arms-"

"Ya know I actually thought that was kinda smooth?" Wells interjected, nodding in approval. "I mean you looked like an absolute idiot, but honestly? Points for effort and whimsicality."

"Thanks," Lexa snorted before pressing the button gently as she mindlessly shifted through the channels. "Not that it worked, she just bought me new shoes. But other than that? Nothing. Nothing ever works, because she doesn't see me like that and I just need to accept it. I'm just the girl she's been friends with forever, nothing more."

"That's not true," her friend stated, grabbing the remote from her to click the television off. "You're objectively hot in a dorky, off putting sort of way," he said, his tone sounding as though the words were actually encouraging. Ignoring the finger held resolutely in the air, he continued easily as he sat back in his chair. "There's no way Clarke doesn't see it. Remember that chick Connie-"

"Costia."

"-From your Uncle Eric's wedding? You told me she had heart eyes for you all day long."

"So?" she shrugged indifferently, remembering vividly the measures she'd had to go to in order to escape the crosshairs of the girl's amorous advances. It wasn't that she wasn't interesting, or even that she was unappealing, the little time they had talked had been perfectly enjoyable, right up until she'd realized the girl's obvious interest. The reality was that Costia _ was _ attractive, _ was _ confident, and was eagerly after her, everything that a teenager chock full of hormones should want...

It was just that… the thing was... she just wasn't Clarke. 

But then again, she had reasoned later, the comparison hadn't really been fair, no known human yet able to hold a candle to Clarke in Lexa's mind. 

"So," Wells broke her out of her thoughts, reaching over to poke her annoyingly in the temple, "That must mean you're at least mildly attractive. There's no way Clarke has missed it. And with how touchy you two are, I guarantee she feels something."

"Then why hasn't she-... Why does nothing I do work?" Lexa asked quietly, fiddling with a rip in her overly distressed jeans. 

"Maybe because you're always angling with a gimmick?" Wells ventured gently, nodding in confirmation at Lexa's confused frown. "You gotta just go for it, dude. Stop with the bullshit. Forget planning fancy stuff. Forget _ 'oh, Clarke, help me, I'm simply too dainty to manage these stairs' _ , or-or _ 'uh, hey, Clarke, uh, wanna hold my hand? By the way, uh, you're really pretty' _ . She just thinks that's how you talk to her normally. You gotta just bust it out. _ 'Girl, I am in love with you, let's do somethin' about it'." _

Glaring at the variety of insultingly inaccurate renditions of her tonality, ranging from insipid southern bell to nitwit to lumbering meathead, Lexa took a moment let the advice really seep in...

"... You know what," she said quietly after a long moment, nodding in determination as she rose from her seat. "You're right."

"I know I am."

"Yeah… Yeah, you're right. I need to just do it. Whether she says yes or no, I need to just put it out there."

"That's what I'm sayin'."

"I'm gonna do it," she stated defiantly, squaring her shoulders as she walked over and put her sweater on roughly. 

"Fuck yeah."

"I'm going down there right now, and I'm just gonna do it."

"Get chips while you're there," Wells cheered, throwing a fist up in unity. 

"Ruffles or regular?" Lexa demanded with conviction, riding the high of adrenaline as she snatched up her keys.

"Surprise me," he declared, pumping his fist one more time for good measure. 

"Alright! I got this!" Lexa nodded as she flung open the door. 

"You got this!"

~*~*~*~

"... J-... Just to be clear… You went there to tell her you love her… and you ended up getting her fired?"

"Yes," Lexa confirmed, her words muffled by the pillow she had unceremoniously face planted into the second she walked in the door. 

"..... Then you kissed her and ran?"

"Mhm."

"...... Ssssssssso… I'm gonna have to go get my own chips then?"

"I hate you."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

18...

"Oh, godammit."

Lexa flew away from her new girlfriend, wiping at her kiss bruised lips as she turned to stare daggers at the intruder. "What, Anya?" she seethed at the woman grimacing in her bedroom doorway. 

"Mom sent me to break you two nasties up," her sister scowled, "she wants to start the damn friend gift giving thing. And, Clarke, your mom is getting antsy with you guys holed up in here for so long. So just, detangle your tongues for five motherlovin' minutes and come help me keep the senior citizens happy."

With that she promptly closed the door with a snap, leaving the blushing girls to finish straightening their clothes. 

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

21...

"Stop being gross and let's go out," Raven commanded as she walked past the couch, loudly slapping Lexa's unsuspecting behind.

"OW, you fuck," Lexa yelped and then hissed, extracting a hand from where she had them tucked beneath her head as she laid draped over her girlfriend, reaching back to rub the injured cheek.

"C'mon, sweetcheeks," their roommate ordered as she headed to her room, "It's almost Christmas, exams are done, and mama wants a night on the town."

Huffing lightly as she leaned on her elbows, Lexa frowned down at the chuckling enabler. "Aren't you supposed to be sticking up for me? Defending my honor or whatever?"

"What'd you want me to do? Twist around so I could throw myself over your butt to absorb the blow?"

"Duh, yes."

Clarke only grinned up at the woman, tucking a loose curl back into place- 

"Yo, Indigo Girls, get your shit in gear, I wanna leave in twenty," they heard from down the hall.

"I swear, I'm gonna-"

"No."

"Just one-"

"No."

"She'll never know."

"The last time you tried anything she was mute for three days and went to the clinic thinking she had laryngitis." 

Tsking dejectedly, Lexa climbed from her spot and offered a hand to help the woman up. "Fine. But, like, you can't say that those three days weren't peaceful," she said as she hauled her up before turning to walk to their shared bedroom. "I take full credit for you passing Sophomore Bio, so, you're welcome."

"Thanks, babe," Clarke laughed as she shut the door behind them, "You're my hero."

"My pleasure, Bette."

"Shut it."

~*~*~*~

"Could you two have dressed _ any more _ like a couple of lazy, homo, hobo's or…"

"First of all, Anya," Lexa drawled, holding up her middle finger from across the booth as they slid into their seats, scooching over on the bench to make room for her girlfriend, "Clarke's bi, so homo technically doesn't apply." 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, love. Second," she said, lifting her pointer to join the first and gesturing to the loose flannel across her chest, "I'm like, ninety percent sure this used to be your shirt."

"You fucking thief."

"Third," she ignored while raising her pinky with an evil smirk, "We don't have to impress you or anyone else."

Her sister grimaced at the vulgar hand signal as she took a sip out of her glass. "Egh, who raised you?"

"Our mommy and daddy," Lexa said with a toothy, maniacal smile. 

"Alright, enough children," Clarke laughed, slicing a hand through the air between them to signal a truce. "I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything, baby?"

"Just a beer, please," Lexa answered, trying to hand her some cash but frowning when she was ignored as the woman simply rolled her eyes and left. She waited for a moment to begin softly wiggling her fingers, grinning wickedly as the woman jumped a foot before glaring over her shoulder as she rubbed at her side.

"You done, Sabrina?"

"Huh?" she questioned, turning back to see her sister staring at her with her typical bored expression. 

"I said, where's the roommate?"

"Oh, she's here somewhere. We lost her at the pool tables to some dudes wearing polos, but she said she'd be over in a minute." Only receiving a hum for an answer, Lexa plowed on as she relaxed in her seat. "How's the whole TA thing going?"

"Fine," Anya shrugged, taking another sip of her whiskey and loosening the top button of her smart looking shirt. "Professor Tight-ass is as annoying as ever." 

"Why you decided to finish your doctorate under him, I will never know. I had him for one semester and switched majors just to get away."

"Because I'm stupid."

"Oh, that's right," Lexa nodded as she chuckled along with her.

"No, but he's helping me, I've already made some connections with the local activist groups and he set up a meeting for me with the chick from ACLU so, can't really complain too much," she sighed.

"Sure you can, there's nothing wrong with doing what you love and complaining at the same time. I do it constantly."

"Do what?" they heard as Clarke approached, hands full with two beers and a fresh drink for Anya. 

"Complain," Lexa said as she reached out to help her set everything down. "Speaking of which, stop buying her things. She's gonna think she's ours and then follow us home, and student housing doesn't allow animals in the apartments."

"Says the one who just flashed a perverse hand symbol in public."

"Hush," Clarke interrupted, leaning forward to peck a kiss to plump lips readying a retort, effectively stopping the fight before it could properly start. "Raven's at the bar grabbing shots, then she'll be over. Forewarning, she's made a friend."

The matching groans and a resounding _ 'boooo' _ from her girlfriend caused her to laugh as Lexa laced their hands together beneath the table. 

"So what's her flavor this week?" Anya asked quietly as she set aside her empty and took a deep pull from the fresh drink.

"Hair gel with a fog of Tommy Hilfiger," Clarke sighed, leaning into the soft body beside her as a slim arm wrapped around her waist. "Literally, I could taste it. Sometimes I am so glad your sister finally made a move, I'd be so depressed if I were forced to be wading through this dating pool."

"Uh, excuse you," Lexa interjected, holding an affronted hand to her chest. "I had been making moves since like, seventh grade. It is not _ my _ fault you didn't understand the complex mating ritual that is asking to hold your hand in my sweaty ass palm during crappy scary movies, and always offering to share my fries."

Neither acknowledged the snort from across the table. 

"I just assumed you were being my friend," she shrugged flippantly after a slow drink from her frosted glass. "I mean I was such a loser- calm down, " she paused for a second when the light above the table wobbled in and out of brightness, "I legitimately thought that on some level you felt bad and were just being nice."

Lexa felt that familiar twisting settle into her gut, once again regretting her years of cowardice. While it was true she had tried to be obvious in her affections, knowing what she knows now, she wanted to kick her younger self for not just grabbing the girl and kissing her sooner. 

Reaching forward to gently cup the lovely jaw that had been happily nodding along to a very addictive song that had been dominating the campus airwaves since the holidays began, Lexa slowly guided her girlfriend's face to look at her instead. "You were not a loser," she stressed once she had her full attention. "You were smart," Lexa hummed, dropping a kiss to a slightly warming cheek. "And funny," another kiss, "and adorable… and so gorgeous I didn't know what to do with myself..."

"For what it's worth, I always thought you both were losers."

"Fuck off," Lexa mumbled against the sweet smelling spot that hid just behind Clarke's ear. 

"What? I meant it in like a you-losers-were-meant-to-be kinda way- ouch." Lexa didn't even try to tame her grin as she pulled back, watching contentedly as Anya shook her hand to rid it of the zapped zing.

"Lex."

"She started it."

"Baby, you can't just mildly electrocute your sister with mag-"

"Incoming," Anya interrupted swiftly, softly rapping the top of the table with her knuckles to get their attention. 

Clarke's mouth clicked shut as they heard their roommate and her... whatever walk up, depositing a small tray of shots on the table with a self satisfied grin. "Party's here."

"Where?" Lexa yelled excitedly, craning her neck to look around the bar.

"Ahe ahe, shut up," Raven drawled, sticking a shot under Lexa's nose until she grabbed it with a grimace before introducing her new… companion... for the evening while handing out the rest of the drinks. "Everybody, this is Finn. Finn, everybody."

At the half-assed smile he directed at large, Lexa waved lightly in the air in his direction. "I'm Lexa, this is Clarke, and that's my sister Anya."

"Hey, Ahn," Raven smirked, sliding into the booth beside the woman, leaving their guest to awkwardly grab a chair and situate himself at the end of the table. "I didn't realize you were gonna be here."

"Oh, I wasn't originally," Anya sighed as she angled herself toward the woman, "but my lovely sister begged me to tag along."

"I literally just said 'we're all going out, you wanna go?'."

"How does that work?"

They all turned to stare at the newcomer as he looked around at the women in the booth. "How does what work?"

"You called each other sisters," he pointed nonchalantly between the two. "How does that work since she's Asian?"

"You're _ Asian?!" _ Lexa demanded, outrage coloring her voice as she slammed a hand down and stared at her sister with wide eyes. 

"Lex," she heard chuckled beside her, losing the fight to a smile that spread across her lips as she relaxed back into her seat. "Actually she's Nepali," her girlfriend explained as they all turned back to the blushing cologne bomb. "They're adoptive sisters."

"Oh, okay. So not like _ really _ sisters," he nodded before grabbing a shot and draining it.

"What the fu-"

"No, they are sisters," Clarke interrupted as Lexa stiffened and started to lean forward, subtly squeezing her thigh in an attempt to soothe her before she could react. "They've been together since Lexa was three weeks old. But even if they hadn't, they're still family."

"Yeah, they got me and thought they could achieve perfection twice, but unfortunately ended up with… that," Anya joked with a vague wave in Lexa's direction. 

"Huh, they told me they got me to make up for you."

"See? Sisters," Clarke snorted motioning between them. 

"Right, sorry. I guess I didn't think about it that way."

Lexa really wanted to slap the boyish grin he was directing at her girlfriend off his ignorant face. 

"Well that was exciting," Raven cut through the awkward silence as she started to get up. "I wanna play pool. C'mon, Clarke, let's go kick these dudes asses." Without waiting for a response, she grabbed cologne boy by the arm to drag him up and away before he could cause anymore harm. 

"Mmmmmmmm, okay," Clarke agreed, turning to Lexa as she started to slip out of her seat. "You don't mind do you?" At the confused look that clearly read as _ 'Why would I?' _, Clarke smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips before hurrying to catch up.

Lexa enjoyed the slight swish to her hips as she watched her walk away, sipping her beer as she mentally made plans for later that evening... 

"How's that all going?"

Turning back to her sister, Lexa frowned at the question. "Me and Clarke?"

"No," Anya rolled her eyes, "just Clarke. How's _ she _ doing? She seems a lot… freer, I guess, than she used to."

"She is," Lexa nodded immediately, smiling like an idiot as she took in the site of her girlfriend laughing after having whiffed a shot at the game. "That town sucked so bad, Ahn. Now she can just be herself. And pretty much everybody loves her, like I knew they would. She still gets surprised by it sometimes which drives me crazy... but she's getting better all the time."

"It helps that she actually knows about your weird ass too."

"Oh yeah," she huffed with a laugh. "And it's awesome. She doesn't feel like a freak anymore, and I can just be myself... She's totally into it too. Like, I was a little afraid she'd be freaked about it or get tired of it over time, but she loves it. I figured out I can do this cool floaty thing during sex-"

"Oh ew, no! What the fuck? I don't need to know that."

"Prude."

"Listen, not wanting to hear about you doing magic tricks during your nasty ass sexcapades does not-"

"Hang on, wait, shut up," Lexa interrupted quietly as she sat forward, her eyes glued to the figure across the bar. "Are you seeing this?"

They both silently watched as, while Raven took her shot, Teen Bop magazine boy sidled a little further into Clarke's personal space. After a moment, he casually placed his hand on the small of her back, leaning in to whisper something in her ear. 

"Well I definitely saw that."

"Right?"

"I've used that before… Oop. There he goes."

"Oh hell no," Lexa declared when she saw him wrap an arm around her girlfriend and lean in further as Clarke tried to subtly draw away. Downing one of the shots as she rose, Lexa slammed the glass back down before making her way across the bar. 

She watched as he wrenched his arm away as she sent a small volt to his shoulder, the man shaking his arm to try and regain feeling in his fingers. Smiling politely, Lexa swiftly wrapped her arms around the body that stumbled back into her, absorbing the momentum from her being released. "Hey, _ baby _."

"Lex," Clarke exhaled as she turned in her arms, shooting an apologetic look at her savior. "Thank you."

"Want me to beat him up?" she whispered with a grin. 

Clarke giggled and shook her head as she wound her arms around Lexa's shoulders. "No, but thank you. I don't think he realized we were together."

Not believing that for a minute, Lexa nodded and smiled sweetly.

"Oh. Okay."

Without another word, she threaded fingers through blonde hair, the hand on Clarke's waist pulling her in as she captured her mouth in a rather enthusiastic kiss. She ignored Raven's wolf whistle and the faint sound of clapping as she thoroughly claimed the sweet lips and tongue.

Lexa resolutely decided grabbing her ass for good measure was simply a perk and not pettiness.

Pulling away a few moments later, Lexa delighted in the dazed look on Clarke's flushed face.

"Think he gets it now?"

Her answer came in the form of a silent nod as Clarke continued to stare at her lips.

"Good... You go back to your game, and I'll just stay right here."

Blinking a few, Clarke shook herself as she nodded again. She took a step back before hesitating, leaning forward again to press a quick kiss to plump lips before grabbing her stick and walking around the table.

"Subtle."

"Thank you," she grinned as her sister walked up beside her, handing her her beer and leading them over to the stools that lined the wall. With her back turned to the room, Lexa refilled her glass with fresh cold liquid. 

"Guy almost turned purple while you were giving your girl a tonsil exam with your tongue."

Humming, Lexa relaxed against the wall behind her, staring contentedly at the man who kept shooting her small side-eye's and glares. Cocking her brow as an idea formed, Lexa smiled devilishly and twitched her fingers discreetly.

The resounding thud as the man tripped over his own feet was loud enough to have several heads turning before he popped back up, mumbling vaguely about cracks in the floor. 

Smirk firmly in place, Lexa turned to her snickering sister as she took a small sip. 

"And I thought tonight would be boring."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

24...

"Hello, Mrs. Claus."

Lexa froze at the sight before her, her messenger bag falling limply off her shoulder. She stood there as Clarke, decked out in a Santa hat and a matching set of some lacy and satiny things that vaguely resembled underwear, slowly sauntered toward her. Her breath hitched audibly as the woman moulded her curves to Lexa's body as she trapped her against the door and settled a festively gartered thigh teasingly between her own. "Welcome home, baby. Merry Christmas."

Gulping at the sight and perfume and the feel of it all, Lexa's brain struggled to formulate coherent thought. "You… ah."

"You like it?" Clarke smirked, meticulously undoing the buttons of her coat one at a time. 

"Yeah," she breathed dumbly, too distracted to care as the coat fell to join her bag, not fighting as her girlfriend grabbed her wrists to relocate hands to her scantily clad ass. "You're not worried about Raven-"

"Raven's spending the weekend at Anya's, so we have the whole place to ourselves," Clarke whispered, grinning at the deep inhale as she gently rocked her hips when Lexa's fingers instinctually squeezed. "... Now tell me, Mrs. Claus," she continued quietly, running her left hand over Lexa's chest, the engagement ring glittering where it rested snugly on her finger, "do you feel like being naughty, or nice?"

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

27...

Humming lightly, Lexa rested her head on her new wife's shoulder as they collapsed on the couch in the middle of their new home, staring fondly at the twinkling masterpiece they had created together. "It looks perfect."

"It looks... lopsided."

"Shhh, no, it looks perfect."

"... You're right," Clarke conceded, winding an arm around her waist. "It is perfect."

Chewy her lip for a moment, Lexa sighed quietly. "Maybe more lights-"

"Baby."

"Nope, yeah, you're right, it looks perfect."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

31...

"Never again."

"But we love the real ones."

"Oh, so _ you _ wanna clean up all this sap?"

"I can just get it up when I come back in, love."

"You better, because I'm serious. Never again."

Lips tilted in a guilty expression, Lexa smartly kept her mouth shut and continued to help her father-in-law haul the dead tree down to the curb. 

"Good choice," Jake grinned after they had deposited it by the road, taking a moment so both could pretend to catch their breath. "It's good to see you've learned to pick your battles."

Sighing deeply as she leaned a hand on her hip, Lexa looked down as she shifted in place. "It's not about the tree, she knows I can get that up in a snap."

"It's all part of the process, the nesting and stuff, just gotta roll with it."

"She yelled at me last week for folding socks wrong. She said doing it with magic made them roll 'too tight'," Lexa quoted in the air, "and that could be a… choking hazard? I mean I told her that it's not like we're gonna let the baby play with _ socks _-"

"That didn't end well, did it?"

Shaking her head in befuddlement, Lexa allowed her father-in-law to sling an arm around slumped shoulders, letting him guide them back up the path. "Don't let it get to you," Jake reassured. "When Abby was pregnant she once told me I didn't really care about her because I microwaved her soup instead cooking it on the stovetop."

"What?"

"I have no idea," he chuckled, tossing a hand up in fond exasperation. "She said it made her feel like I didn't really want to help out with the baby because I chose the easiest method. But she felt it in the moment, so I just quietly apologized and tried to make it right… The trick is to remember that even if what they're saying is unreasonable or seems…"

"Bonkers as hell?" Lexa supplied helpfully. 

"For lack of a better term, yeah," Jake agreed with a grin as they climbed the stairs in their way back in. "It's important to just remember that that's how they really feel in the moment, and it's our job to acknowledge it and let them know you care."

Nodding in resigned agreement, Lexa knocked the snow from her boots, whispering as she stepped in. "... But it was folding socks."

Shrugging, Jake hung his coat on the peg. "And the soup was hot, just go with it. I promise, you'll thank me for it later."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

32...

"Lexa! Your offspring is doing something gross!"

Rolling her eyes at the distressed ringing of her sister's voice, Lexa put down the spatula on the edge of their stove. "Will you watch this, please?"

"Yeah, go save the children from the wrath of a baby." 

Lexa smiled at her wife gratefully, pecking her lips on her way out of their kitchen. Rounding the corner, she saw her sister-in-law holding her daughter at arms length, both women staring as though they had never seen an infant human before.

"Why are you holding my baby like a bomb, Raven?" she asked, hustling over to scoop up the grumbling ball of chub.

"She turned all red and started grunting. She _ is _ a fucking bomb, just take a whiff."

"Watch your mouth," Lexa frowned, smoothing over the darkening wispy blonde curls that sat on her daughter's head. "Don't listen to her, Madi. You're not a bomb. You're just a very healthy pooper, aren't you?" Waiting for the disgruntled baby to grunt in obvious agreement, Lexa nodded definitively. "That's right. Now let's go change before mommy decides it's momma's fault you pooped in your Christmas outfit before gammy and pawpaw showed up."

"You are… so whipped."

"Pfft, she's _ always _ been whipped, this is literally nothing new."

"Don't listen to your aunties, no ma'am," Lexa cooed as she walked out of the room. "They're terrible, and we 'H-a-tee-ee' them, yes we do."

"i can spell, bitch!"

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

38...

“Mommy! Look what I got!”

Lexa smiled with exasperation as she shuffled out of her coat and hung it up, hearing the joyous sounds of her daughter as she greeted her mom, the small _ 'oof' _ of the tiny body's impact as it collided with Clarke's legs audible from two rooms away. Sending tendrils of energy from her core to the tips of her fingers, Lexa sifted through snow dampened curls, melting wispy flakes and drying corkscrewed strands as she rounded the corner to their kitchen. 

“Loll-pop!” her daughter shrilled with delight, leaning back to look up at Clarke in pleased glee, arms still wrapped around death-gripped knees as her wife's hand clung to the counter to keep them both upright.

“That’s amazing, baby. Did momma get you that?”

“No,” Lexa sighed from the doorway as she tapped her glasses to rid them of moisture, keen to cover her own behind despite her propensity to spoil their child. “But Wells says ‘hi’.”

“Ah, got to see Uncle Wells, huh?” Clarke asked, looking back down at her daughter, moving to unwind the scarf and undo her jacket.

"Yeah, Unc' Wells says Merry Christmas," their daughter happily relayed, shaking out her own full head of brunette curls after Clarke finished stripping the snow sodden coat from her shoulders, handing it with practiced ease to Lexa as she moved to hang it on the backdoor hooks. "Puhsgetti, please."

"Yes, baby, dinner's ready. How about you help momma and me by setting up the front room?”

“Front room dinner!” Lexa quietly raved, throwing her fists up in celebration to match their daughter’s excited jumping at the news.

“Front room dinner!” Madi squeakily shouted back, racing past her legs to careen around the corner on her way to start setting up blankets and pillows in their special spots. 

“Two. I have two children,” Clarke chuckled as she turned back to the stove, lifting the top off the large pot of pasta. 

Moving quietly, Lexa slid her hands around the curve of her wife’s hips, burying her senses in silken strands of honeysuckle. Nosing aside the soft waves and curls, she placed a row of kisses along the delicate skin of her neck. “Hi.”

“Hey, baby,” Clarke returned as she took a moment to lean back, pecking the still chilled lips in greeting before continuing cooking. “You guys have a good time?”

Humming as she released the woman to start gathering silverware, Lexa nodded and smiled as she thought of the afternoon. “Yeah, it was nice. Dad helped her build a snowman and Jake got her a hot chocolate that had a candy cane in it so, be prepared for at least fifteen minutes of that story.”

“Oh god, how much sugar has she had today?”

“Enough to power a small rocket,” Lexa shrugged, pulling down bowls and bringing them to stove. “But I already told her we are saving the sucker for tomorrow,” she cut off the chiding she saw rising to her wife’s lips. “So no, you don’t have a fight waiting later.”

“... Good save, Woods.”

“I do what I can.”

“Anything else I should know?” Clarke grinned, dishing up servings of sauce laden noodles as Lexa diligently rotated the bowls.

“Mom said she's going to keep her for the night and next day on New Years; I guess she's already taking Ahn's boys so they can have the night for their anniversary. She said she has party poppers and cider for the kids, then they’re gonna do rolls or... pancakes or… something the next day. I don’t know, she was vague. But, anyway, 'yay' right? Free night. We can party hardy like our college days?”

“You mean three glasses of wine and falling asleep by eleven?”

“Mhm. God, we’re so sexy,” Lexa leered, adding dashes of pepper to her wife’s dish. She had the system done pat, knowing exactly how both of her girls preferred their spaghetti. She grated a few sprinkles of cheese in her daughters bowl before snapping her fingers so it rose up beside her, following her faithfully as she grabbed the other two to head into their living room. “Incoming, Mads!”

“Ready!” Lexa heard as she felt Clarke move behind her, the smell of garlic and herbs wafting in the air around her. 

Smiling brightly when she saw the small arrangement, Lexa hurried over to place down the bowls, the third landing softly beside them a second later. “This looks great, sweetie, you did such a good job.”

"Thanks- Shotgun!" the little girl exclaimed as she flung herself down on the smaller pillow in the middle of the couch. 

"Madi," Clarke chuckled, setting down their drinks and taking a seat herself, "you don't have to call shotgun for the couch."

Grinning at the cheeky shrug, Lexa took her seat beside their daughter, popping a kiss to the crown of their daughter's head as she stretched a blanket across their laps and proceeded to hand out the goods. "Of course she does, Clarke. She knows I covet being the hyphen in the Griffin-Woods Christmas movie night sandwich, but the little toe bean always beats me to the punch."

Madi smiled triumphantly as Lexa tucked the hand towel she was using for a bib into the collar of her shirt to hopefully protect their furniture. "See, mommy?"

"Yeah, see mommy?"

"I see that your mother is ridiculous, yes."

~*~*~*~

"Stop pouting."

"I'm not pouting," Lexa pouted as she watched her wife polish off the eggnog, bending down to adjust the last present under the tree. "I just don't see why you wouldn't let me do it this year."

"Because, baby," Clarke sighed, "I think that would've been just too much. She's getting older now, she's gonna figure it out and start feeling lied to."

"Every kid deserves to see Santa on Christmas eve. It would've been no big deal to do it one more time."

"Uhhh, first off, no Lexa, most kids don't see Santa on Christmas eve. Second, having her _mom_ run into the kitchen and then poof, out comes a hefty, jolly old _male _looking person with a full grown beard instead? That's traumatizing even for me and I would know it's just you."

"It's a glammer."

"It's disturbing."

"I'm offended. It always looks convincing. You're trying to tell me that it doesn't get you going?" Lexa smirked as she sauntered over to her wife. "Even when I toss in a few sexy 'ho ho ho's?"

"Oh, yeah," Clarke deadpanned, "that's why I always made you change back as soon as she was in bed. Because it really revs my engines just thinking about defiling my wife disguised as ol' Saint Nick."

"It should. I'd let you… ride my sleigh," Lexa grinned impishly as she took the empty mug from her wife's hands and placed it on the mantel above the fireplace, drawing her closer as they softly began to sway. 

"That was awful," Clarke snorted as she easily fell into her body, moving herself to the whim of her wife in their old familiar way.

"Stuff my stocking?"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Jingle my bells?"

"Alright this is getting gross."

Lifting her hand from Clarke's waist and up toward the sky, Lexa flicked her fingers upward in a quick motion, a shower of sparks and glistening shimmers exploding from their tips to race each other to the ceiling. 

"Oh, jesus," Clarke smiled in startled response, clapping a hand over her heart at the sudden display. Turning her head upward, she took in the dazzling constellations that glimmered in peaceful winding patterns across the expanse of the top of their living room, swirling in enchanted rhythms that matched the lovers dance. Lexa clicked her fingers, effectively killing the light of the lamps, leaving them bathed in washed out dancing beams of silver, rose, and gold. 

Sliding her arm around her wife's waist again, she gently started moving to the sound of quietly played notes that filled the air of the room around them.

"Better?"

"... You're pretty smooth when you wanna be, Woods."

"Mmm, I do what I can."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

47...

"I don't like him."

"Baby-"

"Don't 'baby' me, I don't like him."

"You don't like any of Madi's boyfriends," Clarke sighed beside her, patting her thigh consolingly. 

"Because he's an idiot. Did you hear what he said about-"

"I heard."

"You don't-"

"Ya know what? I'm gonna go get you a cookie."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

55...

"She's so beautiful," Lexa whispered, holding the swaddled little form, occasionally leaning down to press her lips to the tiny hand wrapped tightly around her finger. 

"She is."

Smiling, she looked up, swaying in the arm wrapped around her waist. "She looks just like you, Mads. Same grumpy little pout when you were born, like you were mad at your mom and me for making you give up your cushy digs."

Chuckling tiredly, Madi rolled her head to rest on her husband's arm. "I learned it from the best; no one can guilt trip you with a frown like mom."

"Hey," her wife said beside her, "you're a mom now too, smart guy. Just wait, one day you'll understand."

Leaning over, Lexa plucked a kiss from sulky lips, effectively turning the frown upside down. 

"I'm sorry I ruined your guys' party, she just had a mind of her."

Shaking her head in gentle reproach, Lexa gazed back down to the tiny bundle again. "This is the best Christmas present I've ever had."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

63…

"You're right," Lexa heard her daughter whisper to her wife as they all watched their son-in-law help her grandson tear open his Christmas eve present, "seeing momma look like Santa? Yeah, that is disturbing."

"I know."

"She's doesn't-... Santa's not... _anatomically_ _correct_ when she does this, right?"

"Oh jesus, Madi, no."

"Okay, okay, I was just curious... honestly I don't know if that's better or worse to know."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"And I know you'd just say I told you so, but yes, Brad isn't so bad… He's good with the kids… But I still think he's kind of an idio-"

Lexa cut off as she glanced over, hearing the soft even breathing from the relaxed, peaceful face. 

"Hey, momma- oh, I'm sorry." 

Closing the book in her lap, she rested her free hand on the cover of their family journal as she heard her daughter walk in. "Don't worry, Mads, she's asleep now," she hushed, looking over to her slumbering wife tucked into their bed.

"She wanted to hear them again?" their daughter smiled sadly as she drew closer, resting a hand on Lexa's shoulder. 

"Yes," Lexa nodded, brushing a thumb over the back of Clarke's beautiful weathered hand, sighing in content as she looked back up to her daughter. "Anyway, what did you need, sweetheart?"

With a 'tsk' she held up a busted looking truck. "He's had it five hours and Jacob's broken the damn thing already. And Jenna's being a moody teenager right now because she's 'too cool for Christmas' and _'birthday's are the same as any other day'. _Whatever. Could you…"

Chuckling lightly, Lexa gently put down her wife's hand to take the toy in her own, turning it over and over so she could see the extent of the damage. "It looks like he took a hammer to it."

"Practically," Madi said and then rolled her eyes, "he's just careening it into everything that'll hold still long enough all day… Can you fix it?"

"Let's see if these gnarled old things still got any juice," she grinned, trailing her fingers over various dents and cracks. With a snap of weathered fingers the hood re-extended, the paint chips filled in, and the body resembled. Smiling triumphantly, Lexa held the toy up, accepting the kiss to her cheek as her daughter took it back. 

"Thanks, momma," Madi breathed as she walked back to the door, pausing in the threshold as she turned to look back at her mothers. "... You should come back downstairs, the kids' wanna see you. They miss seeing you guys now that we've moved."

"But if she wakes up-"

"I'll check on her in a few," Madi nodded and promised with a smile. 

"... Alright, I'll be down in a moment." 

"Okay… love you momma."

"I love you too, Mads."

The room fell quiet as their daughter stepped out, the light sound of family and friends drifting up the stairs as she turned back toward her sleeping wife. 

After a few moments of gazing in affectionate adoration, Lexa set the journal on the side table and twisted her fingers toward the lamp, knowing how her wife now hated waking up in the dark. Groaning quietly in effort, Lexa lifted herself from the chair and moved closer.

"If you need anything, I'm right downstairs," she whispered, gently placing a kiss to Clarke's forehead. "Sweet dreams, my love... We'll read more when you get up…"

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Borrowed the premise a lil from the Notebook. Meh ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
